The Aftermath of Trauma: How to Recover, Rewire, and Thrive in Our Relationships with the Self and Others with Dr. Tian Dayton & Dr. Michelle Stevens
Original Air Date Wednesday, July 10, 2019
As children, we are at our most vulnerable. We rely on parents or caregivers, family members, teachers, or clergy to take care of our basic physical and emotional needs. We have no choice but to rely on the adults in our lives. But what happens to our conscious mind when trust, connection, or security is never established with someone we depend on? What happens when someone chooses substance abuse over our well-being or abuses us sexually and emotionally? Are we able to heal from a childhood rife with disconnection and oppression? To
unravel the root of recovery, Positive Psychology Podcast Host, Lisa Cypers Kamen speaks with two female authors who aim to help others in the recovery process. Dr. Tian Dayton discusses how adult children of alcoholics, who grew up in chaos often lack the skills necessary to self-regulate their emotions and become involved in an intimate relationship. And Dr. Michelle Stevens shares a harrowing story of how her mind created another personality to retreat from the sexual abuse and torture of her childhood, and how she overcame her challenges to thrive in her quest to help others.
Does something in this conversation resonate with you? Are you in need of a professional speaker who can elevate your tribe & enliven your culture? Lisa Cypers Kamen is an award-winning speaker, author & happiness expert who facilitates life-changing presentations for organizations of any size. The science is clear, happier people thrive in life. If you are ready to inject joy into your organization, find out which program is best for you at Lisa’s Live Events.
- Dr. Dayton describes the emotional PTSD triggers adult children of alcoholics incur during relationships. [2:10]
- The fourth trimester of a child’s growth includes learning to self-regulate their emotions. [5:31]
- Intimacy brings out all parts of us including the vulnerable parts from our past. [11:10]
- Healing ourselves is work that affects those we love. [23:37]
Dr. Tian Dayton is the Director of Program Development for Breathe Life Healing Center. She is the author of fifteen books, most recently The ACOA Trauma Syndrome: The Impact of Childhood Pain on Adult Relationships. Dr. Dayton has earned has a master’s in educational psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a board-certified trainer in psychodrama, sociometry and group psychotherapy. In addition, Dr. Dayton is Editor in Chief of the Journal of Psychodrama, Sociometry and Group Psychotherapy. She sits on the professional
standards committee and blogs for Counselor Magazine, Recovery View and The Huffington Post.
Book: The ACOA Trauma Syndrome: The Impact of Childhood Pain on Adult Relationships
- Dr. Stevens shares insights about who child molesters really are. [28:13]
- Victims of abuse are 80% more likely to have psychological symptoms, such as Dissociative Identity Disorder as adults. [32:41]
- Dr. Stevens repressed any memory of abuse until she found her way out of it. [40:50]
- Common traumas that are easily overlooked. [46:05]
Dr. Michelle Stevens, a psychologist, is the founder and director of Post- Traumatic Success, a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating and inspiring those affected by psychological trauma. She studied writing at New York University before earning her doctorate in clinical psychology from Saybrook University, where her thesis was honored as the Dissertation of Distinction. Stevens has presented her research to the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation and the Los Angeles County Psychological Association,
where she also received an award for Outstanding Research. She works with survivors around the globe as a therapist, speaker, and advocate, encouraging them to heal, grow and fight for better lives. She lives in Los Angeles with her wife and son.
Book: Scared Selfless: My Journey from Abuse and Madness to Surviving and Thriving
This episode of Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio is sponsored by:
Myro — Myro is a 100% plant-powered deodorant made with a blend of 100% natural scents and essential oils designed to release over time keeping you fresh throughout the day. I love that Myro is a vegan product that is toxin-free and cruelty-free. Myro is made with a soothing aloe and cornstarch-based formula that is hardworking, and long-lasting. There is no aluminum, talc, parabens, mineral oil or Triclosan. Visit MyMyro.com/Happiness and use the promo code ‘happiness’ to get 50% off your first order.
Are We Happy Yet? Eight Keys to Unlocking a Joyful Life — A guidebook for learning how to harvest happiness through self-mastery. Happiness waits for no one and sometimes we all need support. What is getting in the way of your happiness right now?
H-Factor: Where is Your Heart? — Lisa’s documentary film that explores the journey of human happiness. Emotions are contagious and happiness is a universally-desired state. We tend to forget we all have the freedom to be happy or the liberty to be miserable each day.
“Even when we live in places where our choices are reduced, we still have the choice and dominion over our minds.” @LisaKamen on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“Leaning into our fears is the actual medicine that makes us whole again.” @LisaKamen on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“We seek safety when we have been compromised.” @LisaKamen on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“Adult children of alcoholics become super independent and they learn that closeness hurts.” @Tian_Dayton on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“Regulation is at the core of healing any trauma.” @Tian_Dayton on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“Don’t pretend you have not been traumatized by the experience of growing up in chaos.” @Tian_Dayton on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“In successful relationships, you need two people who are responsible for their own happiness.” @Tian_Dayton on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“It is not monsters who molest children. It is teachers, coaches, priests, fathers, uncles, and that's why it is so hard to stop.” @DrMStevens on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“A pedophile will find a job where they have access to kids and over a decade they can molest hundreds of children.” @DrMStevens on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“If you were abused as a child in any way there is an 80% chance you will develop at least one psychiatric condition.” @DrMStevens on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“Repeated and severe child abuse over time creates a situation where the only way a child can cope is by splitting off their consciousness.” @DrMStevens on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“Trauma and abuse are all too usual. But the stress it creates on the body is unusual.” @DrMStevens on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet
CONTINUE YOUR JOURNEY
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