Healing Our Primal Invisible Wounds: Journeying to wholeness with Dr. Judith Ruskay Rabinor & Dr. Patti Ashley


Original Air Date Wednesday, June 23, 2021 


One of the most complicated relationships in our lives is the one we have with our mother. At conception, our bodies are intrinsically connected to our mother for the first nine months of our existence. At birth, and throughout the rest of our lives, we are emotionally affected by the nurturing, or lack of it, we receive from our mothers. Do we have unrealistic expectations of what a mother should be? Why do we remember the traumatic experiences from our childhoods rather than joyful ones? To unveil the process of nurturing our traumas to achieve wholeness and soothing our nervous system in times of stress, Positive Psychology Podcast Host Lisa Cypers Kamen speaks with two doctors who coach people through the trauma of early childhood experiences. Dr. Judith Ruskay discusses key takeaways from her work and book, The Girl in the Red Boots: Making Peace with My Mother. And, Dr. Patti Ashley shares methods for reducing body trauma during times of stress and fear.

Dr. Judith Ruskay Rabinor — Finding Peace and wholeness with Our Mothers:

  • Why the relationship with our mothers is so important, especially to daughters. [1:51]
  • The importance of allowing ourselves time for acceptance and grief. [7:09]
  • How do we make peace with a mother who, we feel, did not nurture us the way we needed? [9:29]
  • Are we fed an unrealistic idea of what mothering is and should be? [16:44]
  • Judy reads a portion of the ‘toolkit’ of guided imagery from her book, The Girl in the Red Boots. [20:15]

Judith Ruskay Rabinor, guest of this episode about wholeness at Harvesting Happiness Talk RadioJudith Ruskay Rabinor, Ph.D., is a clinician, author, writing coach, speaker, and workshop leader. In addition to her New York City private psychotherapy practice, she offers remote consultations for writers, clinicians, and families. She has published dozens of articles for both the public and professionals and has authored three books.

Book: The Girl in the Red Boots: Making Peace with My Mother


Dr. Judy Ruskay Rabinor Website
@DrJudyRabinor on Twitter
The Girl in Red Boots on Facebook
@DrJudyRabinor on Instagram

Dr. Patti Ashley — Healing Primal Wounds on the road to wholeness:

  • The shame and not-enoughness bred from past parenting styles. [25:35]
  • How the human body processes threat, fear, and trauma, and how to quickly recover from the stress and search for wholeness. [29:01]
  • Patti offers ways we can mother and nurture ourselves in the present moment to feel safe. [38:41]
  • Using meditation to stimulate the Vagus nerve to calm the nervous system in times of stress. [45:04]


Dr Patti Ashley, guest of this episode about wholenessDr. Patti Ashley brings unique insight into the identification and treatment of trauma, shame, grief, and dysfunctional family patterns. Her signature model of Authenticity Architecture creates long-term changes in the brain and central nervous system, breaking through barriers to personal freedom and authentic growth, and excavating the truth of self-love, belonging, and connection. Patti holds a Ph.D. in psychology from the Union Institute and University. She is the author of Living in the Shadow of the Too-Good Mother Archetype (2014), Letters to Freedom (2019), and the upcoming Shame-Informed Therapy: The Art and Architecture of Reconstructing the Authentic Self.

Book: Living in the Shadow of the Too-Good Mother Archetype

Patti Ashley Website
@PattiAshley on Twitter
Dr. Patti Ashley on Facebook
@PAshleyPhd on Instagram

This episode of Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio is sponsored by:

Talkspace —Optimal mental health is essential to our wellbeing and sometimes we all need a little support. Talkspace offers a secure interactive platform that provides a private place to talk it out with a therapist from the comfort and privacy wherever you are, 24/7, whenever, and for whatever is on your mind. Invest in your mental health with unlimited online counseling via text, audio, or video messaging. Talkspace offers licensed, qualified support at an affordable price. Harvesting Happiness listeners get $100 off their first month by using the code ‘Happiness’ at Talkspace.com or when using the Talkspace app.

Best Fiends — Playing games passed the time and was always a cure for boredom. One thing was and is certain… Taking the time to play makes us happy. Best Fiends is a highly engaging digital universe that challenges you in a good way. The fun never ends on Best Fiends because there is always something new to explore. Download the 5-star rated mobile puzzle game on the Apple App Store or Google Play.

Are We Happy Yet? Eight Keys to Unlocking a Joyful Life A boot camp manual for greater emotional fitness and wholeness. Happiness waits for no one and sometimes we all need support. What is getting in the way of your happiness right now? 

HFactor: Where is Your Heart? — Lisa’s documentary film explores the journey of human happiness. Emotions are contagious and happiness is a universally desired state. We tend to forget we all have the freedom to be happy or the liberty to be miserable each day.



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