Conflict Whispering: Collaborate, Communicate, and Negotiate Resolution with Douglas Noll JD & Jim Tamm JD
Original Air Date Wednesday, December 14, 2022
Think about all the times you felt angry today. Were you in traffic and someone using their phone cut you off? Did your teenager shout at you because you told them they couldn’t do something after school? How did you respond? Calmly or did you get defensive?
To gain a better understanding of some specific tools we can use to de-escalate tense situations and have better communication with our friends and loved ones, Positive Psychology Podcast Host Lisa Cypers Kamen speaks with two legal professionals turned peacekeeping, conflict negotiators. The practice of Tai Chi helped Douglas Noll transform from lawyer to peacemaker. He explains a three-step process to peace, based on empathetic listening and emotional de-escalation from his book, De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less. Conflict resolution expert, Jim Tamm describes how to negotiate through conversations that are not easy to have and the reason people use defensiveness as a communication style from his book, Radical Collaboration.
Douglas Noll JD — Communicate and Negotiate Conflict Resolution:
- Emotional problems cannot be solved with logic, Doug shares the mechanics of why. [1:59]]
- From lawyer to peacemaker, Doug shares the journey of how his eyes were opened to what human conflict is all about. [3:44]
- Doug explains how people can use a three-step peacemaking process every day. [6:07]
- Listening is a very different process than social conversation and has a profound effect on the speaker. [13:38]
- When politics become polarized and someone has radically different views than you, what can you do? [17:59]
- How Doug Noll makes peace when it seems that all hope is lost. [22:51]
Douglas E. Noll is a lawyer turned peacemaker. His calling is to serve humanity, and he executes his calling at many levels. Doug’s work carries him into many dark places. Using pragmatic and practical skills of peace, he helps people resolve deep interpersonal and ideological conflicts. He is an award-winning author of three books, a teacher, a speaker, and a trainer.
Book: De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less
Jim Tamm — Radical Collaboration:
- Jim describes and expounds on the five key relationship skills from his book, Radical Collaboration. [27:35]
- It is hard to maintain relationships at this time in our culture because everyone gets defensive and is less effective. [29:51]]
- How to effectively negotiate a way through conversations that aren’t easy to have. [30:57]
- The art of listening and overcoming a defensive communication style. [39:27]
Jim Tamm JD is a former judge and an expert on conflict resolution and building collaborative relationships. Mediated more than 1,000 employment disputes during his 25 years as a senior administrative law judge for the state of California. James is currently managing director of the international consulting firm Business Consultants Network, Inc.
Radical Collaboration with Jim Tamm
@RadCollabo on Twitter
Radical Collaboration on Facebook
This podcast episode of Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio about conflict resolution is sponsored by:
Are We Happy Yet? Eight Keys to Unlocking a Joyful Life — A boot camp manual for greater emotional fitness. Happiness waits for no one and sometimes we all need support. What is getting in the way of your happiness right now?
H–Factor: Where is Your Heart? — Lisa’s documentary film explores the journey of human happiness. Emotions are contagious and happiness is a universally desired state. We tend to forget we all have the freedom to be happy or the liberty to be miserable each day.
“Anger is a secondary emotion.” @LisaKamen on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet “We become a little punch drunk when we are angry.” @LisaKamen on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet “Our needs, desires, and wants in life are more united than they are disparate.” @LisaKamen on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet “Having heartfelt conversations makes me joyful.” @LisaKamen on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet “Emotion is a cognitive construct.” @DougNoll on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet “We literally can not think our way through an emotional problem.” @DougNoll on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet “You can’t solve an emotional problem with logic.” @DougNoll on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet “A lot of anger is rooted in a sense of not being loved and feeling completely alone and abandoned.” @DougNoll on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet “We can’t even be rational until we are emotional first.” @DougNoll on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet“As a peacemaker, you have to suspend judgment.” @DougNoll on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet “Nothing undermines collaboration more than getting defensive.” @RadCollabo on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet“Curiosity is lacking in today’s political system.” @RadCollabo on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet“You need to be able to let go of what you are going to say next to really hear what the other party is trying to explain.” @RadCollabo on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet“When we get defensive we are defending ourselves from fears inside of us that we don't want to feel.” @RadCollabo on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet“The world today is an invitation for everyone to get defensive.” @RadCollabo on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet “Listening is often both the most trained skill and the least used skill.” @RadCollabo on @HHTalkRadio Click To Tweet
CONTINUE YOUR JOURNEY
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