Creating and Sustaining Intimate Relationships That Stand the Test of Time with Dr. Harville Hendrix, Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, & Dr. Gary Salyer


Original Air Date Wednesday, July 29, 2020 


This episode is about building sustainable, romantic relationships. The type of love we received in our childhood is imprinted in our brains. Early feelings and emotions color every single action we take in our adult life unless we rewire our neural pathways. Compassionate communication can improve the quality of our relationships and our lives. When we understand that we deserve love, we are able to be our fully vulnerable, beautiful selves with our partners to create long-lasting happy, fulfilling relationships that allow both partners to thrive. Positive Psychology Podcast Host, Lisa Cypers Kamen speaks with three authors who have done the work toward creating better relationships for themselves and others. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt met 42 years ago and have since created Imago Relationship Therapy and written the eternal book, Get the Love You Want. And, Gary Salyer is the author of Safe to Love and has dedicated his life to understanding how new neural pathways can be created.

Does something in this conversation resonate with you? Are you in need of a professional speaker who can elevate your tribe & enliven your culture? Lisa Cypers Kamen is an award-winning speaker, author & happiness expert who facilitates life-changing presentations for organizations of any size. The science is clear, happier people thrive in life. If you are ready to inject joy into your organization, find out which program is best for you at Lisa’s Live Events.

Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt — Sustaining Intimate Relationships:
  • The relationship progression of Helen and Hendrix was rocky but led to recommitment. [1:48]
  • The 3-step dialogue process Harville created to help couples communicate and to keep love alive. [6:50]
  • The Imago therapy process focuses on creating safety in relationships and using tension for creative conflict resolution. [19:59]

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD., co-created Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents. Together they have more than thirty years’ experience as educators and therapists and their work has been translated into more than 50 languages, with Imago practiced by over two thousand therapists worldwide. Harville and Helen have six children and live in New York and Dallas.

Book: Getting the Love You Want: How to Experience More Satisfying Relationships and Build a Lasting Source  of Comfort and Intimacy with Your Partner

Harville and Helen Website

@HarvilleHelen on Twitter

Harville and Helen on Facebook

@HarvilleHendrix on Instagram

@HelenLaKellyHunt on Instagram






Gary Salyer — Overcoming Childhood Woes and Realizing Your Right to Be Loved:

  • Gary describes why he dedicated his life to understanding how humans can rewire their brains. [32:41]
  • The 6 rights that create the 4 feelings that form your love style. [34:54]
  • Gary describes how the brain reacts to having a borderline parent. [42:48]
  • Neuroplasticity, how the brain deletes information that doesn’t meet our identity, and getting outside support. [46:21]
  •  Attuning to the dynamics of a lasting relationship. [55:50]

Dr. Gary D. Salyer is the creator of the Safe to Love Again™ and the Extraordinary Couples™ Retreats along with various other programs. A former graduate professor, he is the author of the forthcoming book, Safe to Love Again.

Book: Safe to Love Again: How to Release the Pain of Past Relationships and Create the Love You Deserve


Gary Salyer Website

@GaryDSalyer on Twitter

Safe to Love Again on Facebook

@dr.gary.salyer on Instagram

This episode of Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio is sponsored by:


Are We Happy Yet? Eight Keys to Unlocking a Joyful Life — A guidebook for learning how to harvest happiness through self-mastery. Happiness waits for no one and sometimes we all need support. What is getting in the way of your happiness right now?


“Some of us have zero skillset in knowing how to create or keep love.” @LisaKamen on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“If we are unwilling to look at our families of origin and childhood trauma, it's hard to have a holistic, safe, connected relationship.” @LisaKamen on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“As we heal, we create a family of choice that will deliver a sense of connection or tribe in a healthy fashion.” @LisaKamen on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet “I was in awe of his vision and I am thrilled to be his partner. Click To Tweet“We went through the valley of the shadow, like a lot of couples.” @HelenLaKellyHunt on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“We are the poster children for the flame (of a relationship) that can be reignited” @HelenLaKellyHunt on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“When couples feel safe they drop their defenses and can work through issues.” @HarvilleHendrix on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“If your relationship isn't safe you will never be intimate. Your brain won't let you truly be vulnerable with each other.” @HarvilleHendrix on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“There are ways to talk that create safety in the energy field between a couple.” @HelenLaKellyHunt on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet “Criticism of any kind annihilates your partner. because it says you are not the person I want you to be”. @HarvilleHendrix on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“If you want the relationship of your dreams there must be zero negativity.” @HarvilleHendrix on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“Tension can be conducive to collaboration.” @HarvilleHendrix on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“As adults, we often look for a partner that mirrors the actions of caretakers who may not have met our needs.” @HarvilleHendrix on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“Your partner's needs call you into your own wholeness. It is what makes the tension between opposites growth-producing for both persons.” @HarvilleHendrix on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet “Therapy had me managing pain instead of creating a different experience in life.” @dr.gary.salyer on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet “Not everyone gets a missing set of rights from bad parents, occasionally stuff happens.” @dr.gary.salyer on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“If you are with someone with a personality disorder I guarantee you being separate is a better deal than belonging.” @dr.gary.salyer on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“When people feel worthy, they pick better partners and create better relationships.” @dr.gary.salyer on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet“If you feel like you are all alone in the world, at some time in your life being a 'we' was painful for you.” @dr.gary.salyer on @HH_TalkRadio Click To Tweet



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