Conscious Awareness Means We Agree to Live Focused and Present

12 Life Skills that can Change Your World

“What we hold dear can heal the world.” –Mark Nepo

Twelve-steps needn’t be limited to just substance-abuse recovery. Think about the number twelve in common cycles like the months in a year, weeks in a season or quantity in a dozen.  This article is the first of a twelve-part series highlighting top life-enhancing practices that can make us feel happier, healthier and more alive. By focusing our attention on these integrated positive life skills, we begin a synergistic practice that leads to permanent proficiency by building a useful toolbox for greater self-mastery. Each of the skills in this series is well defined in order to give clarity, direction and action challenges that can help the curious and willing reader cultivate greater wellbeing and flourishing in your daily life. People who consider themselves to be most satisfied with their lives recognize that by constantly challenging themselves to learn, grow and expand they feel more alive connected, and joyful in the world. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to open your heart and mind in order to soar! Read on…practice makes permanent…

3 Smart Tips for Intelligent Behavior

Lisa Cypers Kamen, MA

Have you done things in your past that have recently resurfaced and impacted your present self? Whether it was yesterday, 2 months ago, or 6 years ago, all of our decisions played a role in who we are. This can be tough since researchers have recently discovered that our brain does not fully develop until the age of 25. This implies that some of our past decisions may not have been thought through carefully enough, or we did not think our decisions would predict our future. You are probably wondering about the term behavioral intelligence and how it helps people to make better decisions that are sure to impact in the present or future.

“Emotional self-control– delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness- underlies accomplishment of every sort” ― Daniel Goleman

Behavioral intelligence is the fundamental understanding of ourselves. Thus, our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are intertwined within our overall performance. Therefore, we can determine how our past experiences shape our present patterns. Now that we have knowledge of how we can better ourselves, how can we use it?

 

 1. MAKE CONSCIOUS DECISIONS: Trust me when I say this, we have all been there. Despite our best efforts, we make poor choices every now and then. Instead of rushing into something, why not make a list of pros and cons? This will give you extra time to think about it and give you clarity.

• Write down the last 5 important decisions you made. Now, try to think back and create the process you went through to make these decisions. Did you rush? Did you think things through? Did you consult anyone, and if so, were they helpful in the decision-making process?   Create a flow chart if it helps you to see the process more clearly.

 

2. PEER INFLUENCE: Have you noticed yourself making poor decisions when you are with your childhood friend, co-worker, or even cousin? Maybe it’s time to distance yourself from that specific friend. While it might be fun to have a partner-in-crime, it does not always turn out the best. If you are always around that specific person and don’t have a say in it, such as a co-worker, repeat the first bullet point, but to the extreme.

• Name at least 2-3 people you feel have been a part of negative decisions in the past few years or months, if that time frame is more applicable). Now, name 2-3 people you feel have been part of positive decisions in the same time frame. Write down why you consulted these people, or why they were a part of your decision making process? How can you let go of the negative influences, and stay with those who impact on you in a positive way?

 

3. ACTION & REACTION: Getting laid off from work, going through a divorce, or losing a close family member are all very stressful life events. Some of them are unpredictable and worse, it is out of our control. However, we can control our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Sometimes we want to take drastic action, such as screaming at someone who cut us off in traffic. When people react with anger the situation usually escalates in a negative way. The strategy here is to pay attention to our reactions, so they don’t get out of control.

List 3-5 situations that tend to cause you to have a strong, negative reaction. These can be anything – personal or work-related. Now, state the reactions you’ve had and why you feel these situations got out of control. After this is done, state 1-2 ways the situation could have been handled differently, and in a more positive manner.

 

Think before you speak.  When you feel yourself getting worked up and reacting to a situation that will have a negative effect in your later life, take a step back. Think to yourself: “Is it really worth it?” The answer is probably not. Focus on your behavioral intelligence, and how that will ultimately determine your present, or rather, your future self.

 

With BIG gratitude and HUGE support,